Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I love you.
Bad choice
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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