Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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