Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
