All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
