It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
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Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
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Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
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