Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize