we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
That was before I lit my hair on fire
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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