it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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