Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize