Pants 0. Shit 1.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
