If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I checked into jail on foursquare
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I have aggressive nipples.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize