You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
