I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
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Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize