I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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