Got a toothbrush?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
