I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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