And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
