i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Randomize
