i already hear my dad disowning me
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
