after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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