This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
