Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
