i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Randomize
