I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
