Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
