I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
