Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Randomize
