I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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