i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize