they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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