my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
