Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
My vagina just recognized that song.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
