No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
