You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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