She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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