how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
My pussy is not your playground.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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