I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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