First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
