Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize