Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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