party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
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I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
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He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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