I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Randomize
