elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
