Are we in a gay sports bar?
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
