i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
