I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
