THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
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