His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
