she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
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He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
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On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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