I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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