Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Fuck me I smell like cheese
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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