I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize