Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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