I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
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you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
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My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
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